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OMM: Robo Fortune vs Deadpool

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ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!!

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"I know this is a One Minute Melee, but I feel like this fight shouldn't have a time limit." Deadpool said, stroking his chin. He ran off to the left...onto some sort of weird menu screen you'd see in a video game.

"Thank god for the fighting game format of this show." Wade joked, as he clicked on the 'Options' menu and changed the time limit to infinity. Deadpool then ran back to where he was before.

"Scanning. Probability of weird Spider-Man rip off winning: 30%.

"Are you saying I'll lose another One Minute Melee?!? I already lost against Predator, who I would completely own by the way, I lost against that Pegasus guy, I even got beat by Deathstroke! A guy I defeated in the official Death Battle! Nothing more than a DC fanboy angry I beat him. Oh, let's not forget the fact I tied against 60's Spider-Man! I tied against a  meme! A FU-"

White Text Box: No cursing. The author's keeping this PG.

"What? Come on, man! The last time I was PG was Ultimate Spider-Man!" Deadpool complained.

Yellow Text Box: Those were dark times...

THE FOURTH  WALL WILL BE SHATTERED!!

FIGHT!

"Why are we keeping this PG again?" Deadpool asked.

Yellow Text Box: Because the author's a fun-ruining prude?

White Text Box: No, because the author's a Christian now.

Yellow Text Box: Isn't Christian that guy that teamed up with Edge in the early 2000's?

White Text Box: Wrong kind of Christian, but yes. There was a Christian in WWE.

Robo Fortune face palmed, "If you're going to try to assassinate me at least do it right." she deadpanned.

Deadpool scoffed in response.

Yellow Text Box: HOW DARE SHE INSULT OUR ASSASSIN SKILLS?!? LET'S KILL HER!!

Deadpool charged at Robo Fortune with his two swords. Robo Fortune blocked the sword strikes with her tail.

"I may not be able to drop a VERBAL f-bomb, but I can drop ACTUAL f-bombs!" Deadpool screamed, as he ran past Robo Fortune. Robo Fortune looked behind her in confusion to see Deadpool smugly waving. Robo Fortune looked down to see multiple bombs with the letter 'F' painted on them.

A huge explosion happened. Robo Fortune tanked it like a boss and walked right through the flames.

"The Angry Video Game Nerd already used that joke. BEEP BOOP MEOW." she said plainly.

White Text Box: She's right you know.

"Oh please. Like any joke the author can come up with is original." Deadpool mocked, crossing his arms overdramatically. Suddenly, the sound of loud "OH'S!" and an audience cheering and clapping could be heard. Not to mention the airhorns. And Deadpool was now wearing a backwards cap and sunglasses, with a joint somehow sticking out of his mask. There were also poorly edited in pictures of Doritos, Mountain Dew, and the Illuminati surrounding. And there was a huge text in Comic Sans that said '#sweetburns #mlg420' .

Yellow Text Box: Is that Comic Sans?

White Text Box: Even WE have standards.

"I know." Deadpool said as he hung his head down in shame...right before getting his arm chopped off. As that happened, all the poorly edited in pictures, crowd sound effects, and airhorns stopped.

"OW! Dude, this isn't Star Wars! You can't just cut other people's arms off!" Deadpool mockingly scolded as he re-attached his arm.

"I do not see the problem if you can just re-attach your limbs.

Yellow Text Box: Well, you've got to HAND it to her. She has a point, and she's quite HAND-y with a sword. Not to mention her DISARMING personality. Eh? Eh? Get it? Disarming?

"Shut up, Yellow." Deadpool deadpanned.

Yellow Text Box: Yes sir.

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! MY KIDNEY!!" Deadpool screamed in pain as Robo Fortune stabbed him in the stomach repeatedly.

White Text Box: Looks like she got the POINT of this series.

Yellow Text Box: I'm the funny voice dude. Just...stop.

"Actually I thought it was pretty funny. Then again I have a stupid sense of hAUGH!" Deadpool ranted as Robo Fortune punched him into a wall. Then two Robo Fortune heads floated around her.

"Woah, that move looks familiar." Deadpool quipped, before pressing something on the remote and freezing time with the word 'PAUSED' in giant chrome letters appeared. He then pressed some buttons on his phone.

"Hey, Strider buddy! How are things? Good? Good! Listen, someone stole your move 'Ouroboros'. Except instead of those weird canister things it floating robo-cats heads. That's all. Be home in time for the beer party! Bye." Deadpool said as he hung up, and as soon as he unpaused he shot Robo Fortune with a Shotgun.

"Damage sustained." Robo Fortune said as her two minions in the form of her head shot missiles at Deadpool.

"Can't touch this. Na, na na na." Deadpool quipped, literally dancing around the missiles and occasionally shoots a Pistol at Robo Fortune. In his blind firing, he somehow destroyed the two floating heads. 

"Lucky shot." Robo Fortune said  as Deadpool did the Shane MacMahon dance all the way to Robo Fortune.

"SHORYUKEN!!" Deadpool screamed as he mimicked the iconic uppercut. He teleported up to knock Robo Fortune back to the ground with a Baseball Bat. 

"GRAND SLAM!!" he screamed as he threw the Baseball Bat at Robo Fortune. And it...exploded?

Yellow Text Box: Thank goodness for the C4 we just now strapped to the bat.

"OOH YEAH!" Deadpool screamed, suddenly dressed as Macho Man Randy Savage, as he hit Robo Fortune with an Elbow Drop.

"LATINO HEAT!!" Deadpool yelled, now dressed as Eddie Guerrero (complete with wig and fake goatee) , as he hit her with a Frog Splash.  

"LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN BROTHER!!" Deadpool shouted, now dressed as Hulk Hogan, as he landed the leg drop and proceeded to do Hulk Hogan's taunts.

White Text Box: Hulk Hogan isn't dead.

Yellow Text Box: No, but his career is.

White Text Box: Good point.

"Alright, since I unleashed a combo on you, I'm gonna let you get a free hit." Deadpool, now in his regular outfit, said with open arms.

White Text Box: You sure this is a good idea?

"Absolutely." Deadpool reassured the imaginary voice in his head. Suddenly, huge cannons popped out of Robo Fortune's back and fired a blast of giant pink energy.

White Text Box: We should probably move.

"That would make us liars." Deadpool mockingly scolded.

White Text Box: We kill people for a living. Lying is nothing compared to that.

"AUGGH!!!" Deadpool shrieked in pain as the blast hit and he fell to the ground, the upper part of his costume now in shambles.
on
"You have been defeated." Robo  Fortune stated plainly as she walked away.

"Nope. Try again." Deadpool quipped as he threw an EMP Grenade at Robo Fortune....who, having no idea what it was, caught it.

"You think an ordinary grenade will stop me?" she asked, somehow showing a small tiny fraction of emotion.

"Scan again, Halle Berry." Deadpool teased with a smile on his face.

Yellow Text Box: OH! Nice jab at the Catwoman movie!

Robo Fortune stared at the device blankly, before her scanners picked something up.

"Uh oh..."

A massive wave of electromagnetism erupted out of the grenade. Robo Fortune fell limply to the ground.  And Deadpool smashed her head in with a hammer, just for good measure.

K.O!

"Wait, we won...WE WON!" Deadpool cheered.

White Text Box: That's a surprise.

Yellow Text Box: I guess the author likes us after all!

"I can't wait to celebrate! Siri, invite all the X-Men over to party!" Deadpool celebrated as he danced.

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...

DEADPOOL!!!,

"I can't wait til the party at my place. For a few distinct reasons, if you catch my drift..Heh hehe..."

Yellow Text Box: Here's a hint: Psylocke, Domino, and Rogue.

White Text Box: We still gotta keep it PG, guys.

"Awww..."

Yellow Text Box: OH COME ON!

Probably my best work yet.
© 2016 - 2024 asdfmovienerd39
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